What Grows in Stressful Moments

Joe jumped down from the back of the truck and knocked the needles from his jeans. The evergreen smell was thick in the air and there was a hint of eucalyptus and a bit of crushed rosemary from the wreaths. He walked around to the front of the tables straightening the rows of poinsettias as he went. Everything looked good this morning. The early crowd had bought a lot of trees and garland and they had sold out of Everlasting. Alex was putting a Ground Ivy wreath with a violet bow into a bag for a customer. Joe waited until she turned away then told him would be back to the stand in about an hour.

"You're going to go meet with her?"
"Yeh. Got to. My lawyer says."
"What do think it is?"
"Something about a box she got by messenger from my old office."
"And she won't send it up to you?"
"She claims she may have a vested interest in what's in it."
"I think I should go with you."
"And who then would sell all these magnificent growing things?"
"Oh yeah. That why I'm the farmer and you're the smart guy."
"It'll be alright. I'm a big boy. If there's a problem we'll get the lawyers involved." He reached across the table and picked up sprig of mistletoe. "Maybe I should bring this?
"Only if you can get her to eat it."
Joe laughed and headed for Park Avenue South.

The diner they were meeting at, neutral terrority as it were, was only a couple of blocks up the street. He already knew what was in the box. Kind of. There had been a mix-up in the office after the divestiture. That was an understatement. Over a year later and things were still popping up and falling out of unknown places. After his lawyer had called him saying that his ex had received a box of documents, Joe had called Rachel, one of the few people he knew still at the office and, as it happens, his old secretary.
"Christ. Is it a white box?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen it."
"Because if it's a white box.. ."
"I thought I had signed everything a year ago."
"You did. You did. This is my screw-up. I thought I cancelled them."
"What?"
"Your Christmas cards. If it's a white box, it's your Christmas cards."
"My Christmas cards. The ones that say 'Season's Greetings from JoHanna and Joe, Choo-Choo and Jo-jo?' "
"Oh my God, I'm sorry. The order for the next year always comes when they deliver, it's one of those we-keep-sending-unless-you-cancel things. I'm sorry, things were so crazy, you remember."

Joe remembered Stanley meeting with Bernard and the two of them deciding on the bonuses for the year. It had been a particularly good year for both the firm and Joe. His two hedge funds had gained 106 and 122 percent in a year that the 500 had merely staggered along at about even. He remembered Johanna and the dogs were staying another month in South Beach. She was supposed to be checking on the house on Sanibel, but she seemed to be not making much effort. He remembered the meeting. Bernard was speaking. He went on about Stanley's retirement and the larger decision and it's meaning and how this was going to be best for everyone, that they would be fine, then handing out the envelopes to everyone.

The phone had been ringing when he got back to his office so he answered it with his right hand while holding the envelope with his left. It was JoHanna's lawyer, Arlene. She didn't want to have him served with the divorce papers there at the office. How nice. Could he come by? No, it's alright, he remembered saying, serve me here. He hung up. Why were the surprises in his life not surprises? He had guessed, he was a very good guesser, that Stanley was going to get out and sell everything when he left and he had guessed that Johanna wasn't going to re-arrive at their upper eastside address anytime soon, if ever. And he had guessed that he was due some pretty good money in bonuses that year. Not all his guesses were right.

He'd been right about the farm. Walking around the city that night after the envelopes were opened, he'd run into Alex as he was packing up the truck. Johanna hated Christmas trees and now that she wasn't coming home, Joe thought he'd buy one. Things hadn't been going too well for Alex and, as a joke, he'd made a little cardboard sign that said "For Sale -Everything." They talked. And, after a couple of trips upstate, and a number of hot meetings with his lawyer, Joe became the principle owner of Macintosh Garden and Farms. Trees, cheese and breezes he liked to say. He pumped a lot of money into the farm, they expanded the vegetable section, got a second and a third truck, hired more people. He doubled Alex's salary. In a year things were humming. And he was about as happy as he thought he ever could be.



JoHanna was sitting the booth by the door. The box, a little bigger than a shoebox and very white, was on the table.
"How's the farmer?"
"Why didn't you just send me this thing?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Well, one, I know it's our Christmas cards from the box and two, I want you to know I don't want you sending them out with my name crossed out."
"Don't forget Choo-choo and Jo-jo."
"That's what I mean. I think you would send them out that way."
"Is this really all you wanted to talk about? Is this really all you have to worry about these days?"
"I don't want you embarrassing me with our old friends."
"You're in a dive of a diner, what if they see you here? Look, how about I just give them to you and you can cross my name out."
"I want you to throw them out, besides I don't have Choo-choo anymore. She got too big and I gave her away."
"Well, let's have a look at them." He took the knife from it's holder on his belt. Johanna's eyes got as big as piepans, Joe smiled and sliced through the tape. There were five hundred cards and envelopes. As soon as he saw them he remembered the rest.
Staggering through the party in the office, the drinks and the food.
Seeing the order blank on Rachel's desk.
Doodling something about what grows in stressful moments on it before, he thought he remembered, tossing it out.
Opening the envelope and seeing what had been sent to the off-shore account as his severance pay but beyond lawyers named Arlene and dog-owners named Johanna, ---twenty six point three million dollars.

"I had them changed. Rachel says she's sorry they got sent to you instead of my new place." "What do they say?"
The front was plain, except for the tasteful snow drift Johanna had picked out years before. Inside, proving he was still a good guesser of future events it just said this:
All is calm.
All is bright.
Peace.
Joe