Einstein wondered

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Two Women Eating Lunch
One is studying Photos of the other while the other talks:

"So, how come you think no one ever says 'Merry Christmas' in French."
"Do'know."
"Three people today said "Feliz Navidad" to me."
"Hnnn hmm."
" I mean it's not like there is no French around here. This French Onion soup, and there's French fries."
"Yeah um , this one's nice."
"And French -what is it -mustard and French dressing for salad. French kissing and what do they say when they say curses?"
"Pardon my French."
"Why is that?"
"They really don't say that as much as people used to."
"But they do say it. They say it to me."
"But not Merry Christmas."
"No, they say 'Feliz Navidad'."
"Honey, look at these. You don't look French, you look Puerto Rican."

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Two men meet, they know each other but haven't seen each other for awhile.
"How'sit."
"Same old. Same witchyu?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, well, have a merry."
" Yeah, 'k', youse too.
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I have a Seinfeld moment.
I am listening to NPR this morning and the news is that someone has written software to discover the secret of Mona Lisa's smile. Like is it a forced smile or was she really happy when she smiled it. One could use the software to examine all the holiday photos of the past fifty years to discover who was actually having a good time and who was thinking that would rather be in bed.

I think two things: 1) How does someone get a job doing such things?
and 2) why does asking such a question make me think I sound like George Castanza?



There's a man standing alone just outside the grocery store.
He has this conversation:

"Einstein wondered what would it be like to see the world while riding on a beam of light."
"You're not going to start again are you?"
"Start what?"
"You know...the Einstein thing."
"It's not a thing, it's a thought."
"Well, here's a thought. Stop it."
That's not a thought, it's not.
I'm just saying...
It's not.
Okay. Okay. Take a breath.
"We are all riding on a beam of light anyway."
He approaches the automatic door, it opens and he takes a huge bag of cans to be counted.